After the recent coverage on 20/20 on the topic of “Extreme Mothering”, I’ve seen several posts around the blogosphere about extended nursing.

Including this one by Amy at Crunchy Domestic Goddess who says extended nursing is more common than you may think. One of the reasons this is so is because many nursing moms engage in “closet nursing”, especially once their kids cross over into an age that our peers think is too old. Generally this happens after the one year mark, but can happen even earlier.

When I was a kid, I was close to a woman who nursed her older children. I babysat for her and since she was older than me and such a “cool mom”, I really admired her. I also dated a young man who was famous among his friends for having nursed until 5 - the oldest person I had ever known. Then I observed my sister nurse her toddlers, so it seemed like no big deal to me to let a child wean on their own.

When I had my own kids, I didn’t “set out” to nurse for an extended period of time, it just happened that way. It seemed like an ideal way to meet the child’s need for comfort, soothing, whatever.

And I was always VERY grateful when an older toddler fell ill and was still nursing.

One reason is because toddlers often refuse food when they’re sick. If they’re still nursing, even if they vomit or have diarrhea, there is typically litttle worry about dehydration, and the milk they keep down is highly nutritious. Often an older child will revert to exclusive nursing when they’re ill. It was comforting to me and the child to be able to meet their needs in this way.

Hopefully, at some time in the future it will become more acceptable in our society to practice extended nursing - and more moms will come out of the closet. Until then, we are powerful when we simply live our lives doing what we feel is best.

Science certainly is on our side, as Amy’s post points out above. People who study such things (anthropologists and the like) say that our teeth show that humans are probably meant to nurse for several years, not months. And indeed this is common practice in much of the world, even today. Worldwide the median age for weaning is 4.2. When women aren’t told “what to do” by outside authorities, they seem to have no problem nursing for years.

No closet needed.

One thing I’ve learned about breastfeeding, moms and babies is that flexibility is key. Instead of having a preconceived notion about the “right” way to breastfeed, moms have to find their own definition of success. Some moms and babies have a harder time getting nursing going, especially when there is a complicated birth situation, and end up exclusively pumping.

Here is one such story.

“I had planned on breast feeding from the start.  However, I delivered 12 weeks early due to preeclampsia - because of my high blood pressure, I was put on a magnesium sulfate drip which made me LOOPY!!

My first visit with the lactation consultant was a waste of time because I was totally out of it and alone, so no one was able to repeat what she had taught to me when I was coherent. So one of the nurses later on taught me how to use the breast pump - and I started pumping.

The suckle doesn’t come naturally to preemies like a full term baby, so they need to learn. The NICU used a pacifier to help little dude develop the intuition and muscles to suckle. Then when he was ready to eat, he was started with a bottle of expressed breast milk.

Time after time I tried to get little dude to breastfeed, but he would not latch on. Even with the help of my lactation consultant. And because of his prematurity, I couldn’t take my time with him until he “got it”. I only had about 5 minutes each feeding time to give it a shot - otherwise he had to be fed with a bottle or gavage (feeding tube) and I was off to the “milking room” to hook myself up to the pump yet again.

It was a horrible experience for both of us. But I continued pumping for three months because I strongly believe that breast milk is best. Even when little dude’s appetite surpassed the amount of milk I was producing, I continued pumping and supplemented with formula.”

Thanks for sharing your story Cara!

Breastfeeding is effortless for some mothers and babies, but for others, there are challenges. Even some women who have successfully breastfed before may have a new baby who has difficulties. It takes two to nurse, after all.

There are several things that moms can do to prevent breastfeeding problems before they start.

Here are a few recommendations.

Be positive and use visualization
Pregnant women are sometimes told of the value of visualizing and planning their ideal birth. They watch birth videos, read birth stories, surround themselves with people who are positive about birthing, and refuse to listen to negative stories. Doing the same thing - except for breastfeeding - can also be valuable.

If someone asks you whether you’re going to breastfeed your baby and then proceeds to regale you with their horror stories of bleeding nipples and other difficulties, empathize with them but don’t get sucked in to their story. Every birth, every woman, and every baby is different. Her story - and your mother’s, sister’s, and mother in law’s story - doesn’t have to be yours.

In her book the ABCs of Breastfeeding, author Stacey Rubin spends a great deal of time talking about the importance of a positive attitude. She even recommends that pregnant women do visualization exercises, imagining themselves nursing their baby and enjoying the experience. This is not just woo-woo airy-fairy nonsense, it’s backed up with solid research. Many studies have shown that the body doesn’t know the difference between a real and imagined event. Successful athletes can improve their performances with visualization and people can even build muscle by imagining exercise! It can work for breastfeeding too.

Educate yourself and others close to you
Before your baby arrives, read books about breastfeeding. Talk to friends who have nursed their babies - especially those who are still doing so long term. They’ve likely overcome challenges but found the benefits worth sticking to it. Meet women at your local La Leche League meeting or other supportive group who are pro-breastfeeding.

One thing you need to know before your baby is born is that your birth experience has much to do with your breastfeeding experience. Unmedicated births make nursing easier. If that isn’t possible, you can still have a wonderful nursing relationship but remember that the early weeks are often crucial to the entire breastfeeding experience. Be sure your birth care team knows of your wishes. Make it clear that your baby is to receive no other nipples, no water, formula or even pacifiers. Make sure your family and the baby’s father know how you feel too.

Remember early and often
Once baby is born, remember the motto “early and often”. You cannot nurse your baby too soon or too much in the early days and weeks. Nursing frequently tells your body to bring in a strong milk supply. Babies do not need to be “topped off” with bottles. These can derail your attempts to breastfeed. Breastfed babies act different that formula fed babies, and that’s ok. They like to nurse for many reasons, only one of which is hunger. Nursing often also helps prevent painful engorgement, which can lead to plugged ducts and mastitis.

If you are going to be pumping your milk for baby, get a stash of milk early. Don’t wait until a week or two before you return to work to start getting the hang of the pump.

Keep it tummy to tummy
Many breastfeeding problems can be prevented before they start with proper attention to good latch on and positioning. In fact this is often the number one, most important thing. Your baby should be facing you, tummy to tummy, when he nurses. He should not be turning his head towards your breast.

Make sure you are also comfortable during nursing. Don’t hunch up your shoulders. Use plenty of pillows if you need to, and learn how to nurse lying down in bed so you can get more rest. Poor latch on can lead to pain and nipple damage. Be sure baby is opening very wide and getting plenty of nipple and areola in his mouth.

Pain is not normal - get help!
Pain in the nipples and breasts is not normal. It is somewhat common, but it shouldn’t happen. There is a difference between the initial soreness that may occur when the body is getting used to a new activity - and pain that makes you cry. The initial soreness should go away once baby is latched on well and the milk begins to flow. It should also only last for a couple of weeks. If it’s worse than that, get help. It’s likely something very simple that is causing the problem, and sometimes just a minor adjustment brings about quick relief.

Research has shown that many couples who choose natural family planning do so because it has no worrisome side effects.

Although for some avoiding birth control is a religious decision, for many others it’s a health consideration.

Breastfeeding moms may not want to take birth control pills because they can affect milk supply, and there is some speculation about the danger of a nursing infant being exposed to the hormones in birth control pills via her milk. The same would be true for other hormonal birth control methods.

Natural family planning can help a woman get in touch with her cycle and develop more respect for her body, and some couples say it is good for the relationship because it fosters good communication about the sexual relationship. Natural birth control methods are also appealing to breastfeeding moms who want to space their babies or avoid pregnancy.

Breastfeeding is effective as a natural birth control method if several factors are in place. If baby is LESS than 6 months old, exclusively nursing with NO supplemental bottles of formula, water, juice or anything else and is not eating solid foods. Once baby is 6 months old or any other foods or liquids are taken by baby, breastfeeding cannot be relied upon as a breastfeeding method. Even pacifier use can affect the natural birth control of breastfeeding.

While many couples rely on a calendar, chart or tools such as a thermometer to keep up with where the woman is in her cycle, a simpler method is available: Cycle Beads. Cycle Beads are an easy to use, totally natural tool that makes it much easier to use natural family planning to predict ovulation and either prevent or plan a pregnancy.

Cycle Beads are a string of 32 colored beads (they look like an oversized necklace), each one representing one day of a woman’s menstrual cycle. (Most women have a 28 day cycle, but some have up to 32 days in each cycle, hence the extra beads. If a woman has more than 32 days in her cycle, she’s probably not a good candidate for Cycle Beads.) The string of beads has a small black rubber ring that is moved from bead to bead each day. The color of the beads indicate the likelihood of pregnancy.

The first bead is red which represents the first day of the period, where the woman starts the cycle each month. When the woman gets to the fertile time of her cycle, the beads are white instead of colored. So if a woman wants to avoid pregnancy, she would need to abstain during this time or use another method of contraception. Or if she is trying to achieve pregnancy, she will know when she is ovulating.

Dr. Victoria Jennings, PhD, the developer of Cycle Beads, says that their failure rate is about 5%, which incidentally is the same as the failure rate of the birth control pill according to some sources, and far better than the condom. Women who have irregular cycles may not want to use Cycle Beads, but the majority of women can use them quite effectively.

Since nursing affects a woman’s fertility, moms who are breastfeeding need to have had 4 periods after the birth of her baby before they begin using Cycle Beads for best results.

Cycle Beads are also useful for women to use not as a birth control device but to be more aware of their cycle. For more information about Cycle Beads including an interview with their designer, visit Cycle Beads
photo credit: allspice1

photo credit: Sellers Patton

Breastfeeding has countless benefits for mom and baby. However, one of the so-called disadvantages of breastfeeding is the perception that mothers are tied to their babies or to the nursing chair all the time.

Unless you’re good with a breast pump, you can’t just drop your baby off with the sitter when you need to run an errand or take time for yourself. What if she gets hungry while you’re away? And how can you explain to a babysitter why it’s so important not to give a bottle of formula while you’re gone?

These challenges can be overcome so as not to disrupt the breastfeeding relationship. Here are some ways you can plan to get things done while you’re breastfeeding your baby.

• Ignore the things you can. If household jobs are calling, put them off if possible. After all, the bedroom will wait if it doesn’t get painted this month, or this year. Baby, on the other hand, is growing and changing everyday.
• Lower your standards. Life after a new baby is a time of adjustment. Life will never be the same, and you have new priorities now. If your home doesn’t pass the white glove test, so what? You’re raising a new human. What could be more important than that?
• Invest in a sling, and use it. A sling keeps your baby close to you while you work around the house. The rocking motion and your closeness will help baby relax. And it’s very convenient when it’s time to nurse. With some slings you can even nurse hands free so you can be doing things you need to do while meeting baby’s needs.
• If you do have to be away from baby, enlist the help of your friends and family. Bring a friend along for an appointment or function to help occupy your baby, and when it’s time to nurse, you’ll be right there. Or, invite her over to your house to cuddle baby while you get stuff done. When baby gets hungry, you can take a break and nurse.
• If you do need to use a babysitter, look for a breastfeeding friendly caregiver who you can educate on the importance of breastfeeding. If you think you’ll want a babysitter, start looking for the right person before baby’s arrival. Once she’s here, you’ll want to spend time with your new baby, instead of looking for someone to look after her.
• You may want to begin by leaving baby with a caregiver between feedings, so you know she isn’t likely to get hungry while you’re away. If you plan to leave a babysitter during a feeding, tell your caregiver to hold your baby while she gives your baby your milk in a bottle, and to pick her up when she fusses.

This time with your baby is precious, and you won’t want to miss a minute of it. But when you do need to get things done, relax and find an option that will work for you and your infant. If you do take the time you need, you will be a happier Mom, which means a happier baby.

Since every blog seems to have a “best of” post around this time, I thought it would be fun to note the best selling nursing bras - at least according to this site’s statistics!

They are:

Bella Materna Padded Nursing Bra

La Leche League Lightly Padded Underwire Nursing Bra

La Mystere Florence Underwire Nursing Bra

Elle Macpherson Nursing Bra - the Maternelle No-Wire Drop Cup and La Mere styles were a tie.

While breastfeeding is a very natural process, there is a learning curve for most of us. Hospital lactation consultants are a wonderful wealth of information, as are La Leche League leaders. They can observe your nursing technique and offer tips to make breastfeeding easier for both you and your baby. If you are more of a visual learner, ask your lactation nurse if they offer a breastfeeding video to further enhance your learning experience.

Sometimes, a video about nursing could help to provide you with an extra boost of confidence that you’re doing it right. You may be able to check out a breastfeeding video at your local library or purchase one online to keep for future reference. As a new mom, don’t be afraid to take all the help you can get.

Breastfeeding videos provide tips for latching your baby on correctly as well as important information on providing nourishment for your new little one. Some women are a little hesitant to reach out to get help with breastfeeding because of embarassment or financial issues. Videos can give you the information you need, in real time, and in the privacy of your home.

Since latch on and positioning of your baby are so very important to nursing comfortably and well, and these skills are somewhat difficult to learn from a book, a breastfeeding video may give you just the right bit of advice to make breastfeeding easier and more comfortable.

Recommended:

Breastfeeding How To Videos (instant download so you don’t have to wait for a DVD to come in the mail!)

Breastfeeding videos on Amazon

Just wanted to give you a heads up that I’m giving away a free nursing cover over here.

Drop by and leave a comment to enter! Deadline is Tuesday, December 23rd at noon Eastern time.

The popular Passion Spice nursing bra and maternity lingerie line is having a sale! All bras are at least 15% off, but some are actually on clearance.

Go check out the Passion Spice line.

New Baby Formula Risk: Iron-Fortified Baby Formula Linked to Neurodevelopmental Delays in Healthy Children

Natural parenting blog publishes results of a long-term study showing possible negative effects of iron-fortified baby formula

Windsor, Ontario, Canada, December 17, 2008. The findings of a long-term study suggest that iron-fortified baby formula hampers the neurobehavioral growth and development of healthy infants.

The study found that, compared to infants who were fed low-iron formula, the group who received iron-fortified baby formula had lower scores in the Bruininks-Oseretsky test, IQ test, spatial memory, reading and arithmetic skills, and visual-motor integration.

Infants in the fortified-iron group had 11 IQ points less than the low-iron group.

The study involved almost 500 Chilean babies who were all assessed to have normal iron levels at 6 months of age. Half of the children were fed low-iron formula for one year, while the other half received iron-fortified formula. The children were tested every year until age 10.

The bottom line: iron-fortified baby formula should only be given to babies who are iron-deficient to begin with.

The main investigator of the study was Betsy Lozoff, MD, professor of pediatrics and communicable diseases at the University of Michigan, Ann Arbor. She presented the study in May 2008 at the joint meeting of the Pediatric Academic Societies and Asian Society for Pediatric Research. A report on the study is available at Medscape.

Naturalmomsblog.com, an informational website on natural parenting, is helping to publicize the results of this study, in an effort to help make the public informed about the risks of baby formula use.

The site quoted Betty Sterken, Executive Director of Infant Feeding Action Coalition (INFACT) as saying, “if the infants fed the high iron formula had been compared to breastfed controls one could expect the difference to be even greater.”

Various studies have found breastfed infants to have higher IQ scores than formula-fed infants, even up to adulthood.

Blog author Alexis Rodrigo says, “I’m concerned that more than 6 months after this study was presented, the public still has not heard of these results.”

A certified childbirth educator and former staff of UNICEF, Rodrigo says, “Parents want to make informed choices, but sadly we do not often have all the information we need to make truly informed choices.”