Time and time again you hear about women being humiliated in public when they are simply trying to feed their child. It’s amazing that this still happens when you consider the facts about Breastfeeding:

* The World Health Organization recommends that Breastfeeding should be “on cue” and start without just hours of the baby’s birth.

* The World Health Organization recommends that bottles and artificial nipples/pacifiers be avoided if at all possible.

* The World Health Organization recommends that breastfeeding should be exclusive for at least six months of life and up to and beyond two years.

* Doctors agree that in most cases, even in countries with starving populations that breast milk is the very best food for infants and babies.

* Doctors agree that Breastfeeding provides important immunity to your child and that it can offer lifelong protection to your child for things like type 2 diabetes, high cholesterol, obesity, and even makes your child smarter!

Even if these things don’t impress you, the fact is, breastfeeding saves a lot of money and is better for the environment. Less container waste, and of course, it’s free. Financially, you can’t ask for a better deal when it comes to natural family living. Face it, many of the things you do to create a more natural environment for your family costs extra money, but breastfeeding doesn’t!

But, the problems you may experience from the attitudes of society may interfere with the joy and pride you take in doing good things for your family. You may find it difficult to breastfeeding in public.

Face it, not all babies like their heads being covered with a blanket. But there are ways to breastfeed in public that won’t embarrass you, and ways you can respond to people who are uneducated.

1. Wear a shirt without buttons, if you just lift it up the baby will cover your body more than when you unbutton a shirt. Many babies can breastfeed comfortably in a sling if you wear a shirt that lifts up.

2. Keep breastfeeding literature with you and give it to anyone who complains.

3. Don’t let others tell you what is right and wrong for you and your child. Stand up for yourself and others who may be too shy to do it for themselves.

4. In most states breastfeeding is a legally protected right.

5. Don’t stress. If you just breastfeed without worrying and ignore the comments, if any should come, and “just do it” as they say, you’ll find that most people don’t even notice.

6. Practice makes perfect! Believe it or not, the more you do it, the easier it will get and the less you will care one bit what others say!

7. Laugh! You know, sometimes things happen. You may accidentally expose yourself. It does happen. Sometimes a nosy busybody will make a comment, better to just laugh it off.  The fact is, this is what breasts are made for, and the over-sexualization of women’s bodies is a relatively new phenomenon and if boobs out-to-here, are okay for movie posters, your breastfeeding your baby in public isn’t scandalous.

I recently went through this challenge with my nursing toddler. For several weeks I almost feared nursing her, anticipating a bite. While I wasn’t considering weaning her as she wasn’t ready and enjoyed nursing very much, I was worried each time I sat down to nurse her.

I’m not new to breastfeeding. This baby is my 5th breastfed child. And I’ve dealt with biting before. In fact all of my babies have attempted it, once or twice. I even had another determined biter, my 2nd baby, who otherwise was the sweetest, most easygoing of my babies!

Biting can be a bit confusing. Why would baby want to hurt mom?

Here are a few things I’ve learned about biting and how to bring it to an end, once and for all.

Figure out WHY baby is biting

This requires some sleuthing on mom’s part. Biting can come around teething time, or not. Sometimes it’s just an experiment in cause and effect… baby bites simply because s/he has learned how to. Some moms think that biting mean they have low milk supply, but I don’t believe that is true. I’ve nursed a few toddlers through pregnancies when my milk was almost nonexistent, and biting was never an issue then. I think moms get this idea because biting almost always happens near the end of the nursing session when the milk is flowing more slowly.

With older babies and toddlers, biting may simply be a way of getting mom’s attention. This was definitely the case with my youngest child. Too often, I was doing other things while nursing – multi tasking, if you will. And she missed my attention and let me know in no uncertain terms that she would have it!

Once I figured this out, I started looking her in the eyes more, rocking and talking to her while we nursed. I don’t have to do this every single time, and truly I might get antsy if I didn’t read an occasional book or email while nursing! However, I found that as long as I spent a couple of minutes focusing on her at the beginning of a nursing, she would be happy and not attempt to bite.

An advantage of paying close attention to baby while s/he nurses is that you can see a bite before it happens! My son, mentioned earlier, would literally get a twinkle in his eye right before he clamped down. My daughter would raise an eyebrow teasingly like Scarlett O’Hara before biting, almost as a challenge to me. I learned to look for that expression, and end the nursing session before baby made a chew toy out of me.

Some older babies are “done” nursing but don’t know how to nicely end the nursing session. As younger babies they often fell asleep and pulled away from the nipple, but they don’t do that much anymore. Consequently, they bite because they’re bored. If you suspect this, then be proactive and stop when you sense baby isn’t actively nursing (meaning sucking and swallowing).

And truly, a baby can’t bite if they’re actively nursing, because they would bite through their tongue. If baby is just “messing around” at the breast, end the nursing promptly. Be ready with a finger to slip into baby’s mouth to break the suction and protect sensitive breast tissue.

Don’t allow biting… but don’t overreact either

It’s only natural to jump or cry out if you’re bitten, especially if it’s the first time. Don’t let this happen often. Some babies enjoy the “show” and bite just to see your reaction. Other more sensitive babies may be so shocked and hurt (if their bite was accidental) at your display of emotion that they refuse to nurse for awhile. This is referred to as a “nursing strike” – which is no fun for mom or baby.

This doesn’t mean you should allow biting either. At the breast, your baby is learning about healthy relationships. As a newborn, when baby latched on incorrectly, causing you discomfort, you lovingly removed him from your nipple. In doing so, you were teaching him healthy boundaries and discipline. You knew it was best for both of you for him to be latched on properly, and you were unapologetic about repositioning him.

Now that your baby is older, don’t allow him to hurt you. If he bites once, tell him firmly “Ouch. Biting HURTS. Please be gentle.” And END THE FEEDING immediately. You don’t have to do so in a harsh way, but it’s ok to be firm with a toddler or a determined biter. You could also offer a teething toy or food that’s appropriate for his age, and tell baby it’s ok to bite THIS.

The only thing that ended biting with my son was this: I immediately removed him from the breast when he bit me. I sat him on the floor, and left the room for a moment or two. Essentially a “mommy time out”. I only had to do this a few times, and he got the message! He stopped biting, and I nursed him for a long time afterwards.

How have you handled biting? Any tips to share with other moms? Leave them in the comments below.

Then, boom.

Something happens at this age that causes mom to start wondering if something is wrong. Suddenly baby seems to want to nurse “all the time“, and she is concerned that her milk supply has become inadequate.

The reason for this is simple: 3 month old breastfed babies often experience a growth spurt at this time. No longer a newborn, a 3 month old needs fairly the same amount of calories as a much older baby due to rapid growth.  Add to this fact that some 3 month olds begin sleeping longer stretches at night, meaning they need to make up those calories during the day.

It’s very common for moms to wean at 3 months because they convince themselves that their milk supply is diminishing. Another thing that sometimes happens at this age is mom’s breasts stop leaking and don’t look as engorged as they did in the immediate postpartum period. While what is really happening is mom’s body is adjusting more efficiently to baby’s needs, she misinterprets these events.

Here are a few questions moms have been asking about breastfeeding 3 month old babies.

“Can you breastfeed a 3 month old too often?”

No, you cannot. This question comes up fairly regularly in the search stats for this site.

“Eating pattern of 3 month old baby?” and “How many times a day should a 3 month old breastfeed?”

It really depends on the individual infant. Babies have different nursing styles. Some “snack” all the time, others nurse for longer periods of time with longer stretches inbetween.

But, since age 3 months is commonly a time for a growth spurt, you can expect baby to want to nurse more. This serves to increase mom’s milk supply. The best thing to do if you suspect this is happening with your baby is to nurse as often as your baby is willing for a few days. It generally takes about 3 days for your body to respond to a change in baby’s nursing habits. So, spend 3 days resting and sleeping with baby as much as possible, nurse often, take care of yourself and don’t do too much. Your body will respond by making more milk, and baby will settle into a more familiar pattern.

See also:

• How do I increase milk supply for my 3 month old?
• How often should a 3 month old eat if breastfeeding?
• How often should a 3 month old breastfeed?

Breastfeeding is not only best for baby and Mom’s health. Breastfeeding can also be extremely empowering and an enjoyable if you approach it the right way. The American Academy of Pediatrics encourages Moms to breastfeed their babies for at least one year or as long as mutually desired. The WHO recommends 2 years of breastfeeding, as does the Canadian Minister of Health.

Sadly, many Moms quit breastfeeding before they wanted to initially because challenges come up and they don’t know how to access good support and information.

Here’s a very important tip that will help you have a happy nursing relationship:

Build your breastfeeding support network

During your pregnancy, attend ongoing breastfeeding classes or La Leche League meetings. Ask your Doctor or Midwife for suggestions if you aren’t aware of any groups in your area. Or search at La Leche League International’s website to find a local group.

Find women who have or are breastfeeding their babies and talk with them about their experiences. You might meet these Moms at your local Mom’s group, where you worship, storytime at the library, or anywhere else Moms hang out.

In our society, it’s rare to see women openly nursing their babies in public and that’s one of the reasons that new Moms have challenges. Breastfeeding is an art, not a science, and it helps to have women who have “been there, done that” to support you.

Keep the phone numbers of one or two of these women, and a local La Leche League leader, with you when you go in to the hospital to have your baby. Not all labor and delivery nurses are knowledgeable about breastfeeding and may
actually discourage you.

After I had my first baby, one of the nurses told me not to nurse my baby for more than 5 minutes or “you’ll get sore”. If I had listened, there is probably no way I would have been able to bring in a milk supply adequate for my son’s needs. Thankfully, I got better information through my breastfeeding “support tribe” and was able to nurse him for a long time.

If you want to breastfeed your baby and enjoy it too, go find your tribe.

If your relatives don’t support breastfeeding, or breastfeeding in public, or breastfeeding past a certain age, you may encounter criticism or unsolicited advice. Nothing makes the relatives choke on their turkey dinner like feeding the baby anywhere and anytime, it seems!

Breastfeeding and Unsupportive Family

Your breastfeeding can bring up issues in your family. Any mother who knew consciously that breastfeeding is right and good for her child, and that formula is very much sub par, and yet didn’t want to breastfeed, may have defensiveness around the topic. Meaning she can’t think rationally, only emotionally. Hence she may have a problem with you breastfeeding around her. This may be your sister, Aunt, Grandmother, Mother-in-Law, or any other female relative.

And those mothers who knew breastfeeding is best but who lacked good information and support and therefore failed in her attempts to do so, will also have sadness and grief. This is the same kind of feeling you may get around a friend who struggles with infertility, and you’re pregnant. Again.

It grieves me to see the lengths women sometimes go to to avoid breastfeeding in public. Where else should a woman feel safe to nurture her baby than around her family?

When it comes to family being unsupportive of breastfeeding, my advice is to work within your own comfort level. If feeding the baby in the same room as your family will cause you to have toxic emotions and total discomfort, then take it elsewhere. It’s not a political statement to duck into a spare bedroom to nurse your baby in peace. Many people will assume you are putting the baby down for a nap or changing a diaper and won’t bring up breastfeeding. If your mind and emotions will be so disturbed by the possibility of questions and criticism, that isn’t good for your health or baby’s.

With younger babies, you may be able to be discreet and nurse wherever you are, just turning away from the group for a moment to latch on, then settling your clothes around baby’s face. Older babies, of course, are often difficult to breastfeed discreetly. In this case I recommend using a baby sling. Many times I have breastfed a baby in a sling and nobody was the wiser.

A nursing cover may make you more comfortable, but in my opinion these often look like a neon sign that flashes “we’re nursing under here!”. If you’re expecting criticism due to nursing your toddler, read more tips on closet extended nursing here.

It’s also a good idea to practice a few phrases you can use when family is unsupportive or critical of your breastfeeding. Such as:

“Mother in law, I appreciate how concerned you are about baby Johnny. Our Doctor has assured us that little Johnny will get plenty to eat if he is breastfed on cue, without any supplements, and that it’s best to delay solids until 6 months. We’re trusting his advice. We appreciate your input. ”

This “Doctor” could be one whose advice you’ve read in a book. It doesn’t matter. What matters is that the other person feels heard, but that you don’t acquiesce to their wishes but reaffirm your position as the final authority on your child.

Recommended article on the Leaky Boob: Unsupportive Support

See also: Breastfeeding and family support

Breastfeeding around the holidays

How did you handle family who is unsupportive of your breastfeeding?

When babies are placed in this position immediately after being born and medicines were not used in labor, then mother nature will take its course and the baby will actually crawl to the mother’s breast after a while in order feed. Studies have even showed that babies who receive a lot of skin-to-skin contact are more likely to have successful breastfeeding relationships than those who do not get a lot of skin-to-skin contact.

The temperature of a mother’s chest will adjust to the baby’s needs. It has also been shown to have positive benefits on the baby’s blood sugars. It helps the newborns adjust to their new surrounding and remain more calm. The bonding benefits are also enormous as the baby feels secure. Even fathers, partners and other close family members and friends can get in on the skin-to-skin action too. When mother is taking a nap or perhaps recovering after a C-section, another person can take over for that period of time. This way the baby still feels the warmth of another human being, hears the steady heartbeat and can remain calm.

Skin-to-skin contact isn’t only for the moments after giving birth. This can take place every day, several times a day in fact, for months to come. Parents will be more tuned into their baby’s needs if they are in close contact throughout the day. The baby is also more likely to readily express when they are hungry and need to nurse. This way their needs are met right away, leaving baby feeling happy, nourished and loved. What baby wouldn’t want to snuggle up next to mom or dad and take a cozy nap on someone who loves them?

photo credit: Pictures from Heather
When registering for items on a baby shower registry, be sure to think about what items will support you as a breastfeeding mother. Some of these items may include a nursing stool, nursing pillow, nursing pads, nursing bras, nursing clothing, nursing cover up, nipple cream, a soft cloth baby sling and breastfeeding tea.

While none of these items are totally necessary for a breastfeeding experience, they can come in handy, especially if you have loved ones who wish to purchase something for you that you will enjoy. If you choose to express your breast milk, consider adding a breast pump to the registry as well as storage bags and bottles that are designed for the breastfed baby with a slower flow and wider nipple.

As the host of the baby shower there are several things you can do to improve the breastfeeding friendliness of the event. You can avoid images of bottles on the invitations and decorations and instead focus on images such as teddy bears, rattles, rubber duckies and other baby items. When creating the games, such as a word search, you can leave out words like bottle and formula and instead include nursing or breastfeeding. You can even play a game about breastfeeding myths and facts. It can also bring awareness to breastfeeding to others in the room.
It’s likely that there will be other mothers with young babies attending the party. It’s a great idea to set up a breastfeeding room or station for those who feel uncomfortable nursing or pumping in front of others. A guest bedroom with a rocking chair and stool are nice. You can also let guests know in the invitation that this will be available as well as let them know the guest of honor will be breastfeeding and if possible, to bring gifts that honor this decision. Most of all, just have fun!

photo credit: edenpictures

Some new fathers may not understand the importance of breastfeeding or are embarrassed to know more about it, but other men are very knowledgeable about breastfeeding and encourage their partners to nurse their babies.

A father may also feel unsure about how breastfeeding will affect his relationship with his partner. However, having the father’s support plays a major role in the success of breastfeeding for the mother and child. A pregnant woman is wise to involve her partner in the decision to breastfeed early on. This can help him become more accustomed to the idea and learn how to be a great support to his partner. Taking a breastfeeding class together during pregnancy is a great idea.

During pregnancy, the mother and father should sit down and discuss what it means to breastfeed and discuss issues that may be weighing one their minds. This might include sexual intimacy, bonding with the baby and how to be supportive during the breastfeeding journey. It is helpful to have a third party there that is knowledgeable about breastfeeding to answer any questions, such as a midwife or breastfeeding counselor. Personal issues can be discussed privately at a separate time, if need be.

It’s important for the father to know he can still bond with both the baby and the mother in beautiful, loving ways. Even though he isn’t the primary person involved with feeding the young infant, he can bond in many other ways.  Infant massage, skin-to-skin contact, bathtime, and reading to baby are excellent ways for dad to bond with the baby.

Parents who want to keep their relationship as a priority can still be intimate, however it’s a good idea to wait until mom is healed from childbirth and is able to get sufficient rest. This time varies from woman to woman. Good communication is the key. If a new mom is feeling exhausted, hormonal and “touched” out from caring for baby all day, she may need more time to get into the mood. It’s a good idea for her to explain to her husband that she isn’t rejecting HIM. Moms should remember that their husbands are also going through a vulnerable time emotionally after the birth of a new baby.

Some moms express their milk and hire a babysitter for a couple hours for the parents to get some alone time, but others find that they are uncomfortable doing so. A couple can find creative ways to still be loving and intimate with one another without leaving baby behind. One couple lit several candles on their dresser, placed baby in the carrier on the floor and let him coo and talk to the flickering lights while they enjoyed a romantic interlude!

The best thing dad can do is tell the mom how much he appreciates the gift she is giving their child through the act of  breastfeeding and not push her to feed the baby formula or bottles. He can take her water when she sits down to nurse, make her a cup of nursing tea or adjust her nursing pillow. These little touches can go a long way towards endearing a man to a woman. Just having the father by her side can make her feel loved and appreciated and most of all, supported.

Another way a father can support a breastfeeding mother is by running interference with her if others try to assert their opinions or undermine the nursing relationship. A nosy mother in law may have to be reminded that “We appreciate your experience and opinion, however, this is our baby and we have made a decision.” Keep in mind that some people have a problem with a breastfeeding mother simply because they were unable to nurse their own babies. Being compassionate is always a good idea, but a couple have to defend their boundaries from time to time also.

If you’ve ever breastfed your baby, then you know that there can be issues that arise. One of those issues is mastitis. It can be painful and alter your breastfeeding experience with your child. But, there are ways to treat it naturally without stopping nursing.

Mastitis is an often painful condition where the milk ducts in the breast are clogged. The ensuing infection can leave a mother with flu-like symptoms and feeling too tired to continue breastfeeding. While the condition is distressing, the milk is still okay for baby even with this infection.

When it comes to treatment options, reach for your grandmother’s advice. Before it became common to treat this condition with medications, more natural remedies were used to give the mother comfort.

A doctor may want to prescribe antibiotics, but in light of the fact that you are nursing, it should be a last resort. Antibiotics are not necessary to heal mastitis. Here are some natural treatments to try:

* Breastfeed more often – Continuing to nurse often can help the infection run its course faster. It is not pleasant for you but encourage your baby to latch on as much as they can to help unclog the ducts. Even if they don’t want to drink a lot in the beginning, use a breast pump to empty the breast a bit more after each feeding.

* Heat– Heating pads may burn, but you can take a warm shower as hot as you can stand. Massage the breast tissue at the same time. The warm water can assist in removing clogs from your milk ducts.

* Try cold compresses – These are not your normal cold compresses either. Use a cold head of cabbage. Many women have found this remedy to work for them. After the cabbage is sufficiently chilled, remove a leaf and cover the affected breast. This technique can soften the tissue and bring pain relief. For engorgement, you can try putting a little camphor on the leaf before applying to help with pain relief and release the milk easier.

* Garlic – Garlic, along with other vegetables in the allium family, contain antibiotic properties. Instead of a prescription remedy, eating garlic can help to clear up the infection in your breast. The milk may have a slightly different taste to your baby for a little while, but you will feel better and the garlic won’t hurt them. In fact baby may nurse with more gusto when enjoying garlicky milk!

Check with your doctor before using natural remedies to be sure they don’t interfere with any other medications you are taking or will harm baby. You can find relief, continue bonding with baby and avoid traditional treatments by using natural remedies to treat mastitis.

Your baby is finally here and you have decided to nurse. Somewhere in the midst of this bonding experience, you feel pain or discomfort in your breasts. It could be the beginning of a condition called mastitis.

What Is Mastitis?

Mastitis is a condition of the milk ducts in the breast. They can become inflamed and painful during breastfeeding. This infection is bothersome and has caused some women to stop breastfeeding their infants, which isn’t necessary to heal the mastitis.

During breastfeeding, bacteria can enter the nipples through cracked skin. The milk ducts become infected leading to pain, swelling, fever, chills and other symptoms associated with an infection. This makes it hard to breastfeed, not only due to the pain but also the tiredness from fighting the infection.

What You Can Do

It may feel like the end of the world, but it is not. You can actually continue to breastfeed with mastitis. In fact, keeping the flow of milk going can be a treatment for the infection in itself. Some women find that it clears up once they continue. The milk may have a slightly different taste to your baby but it is not harmful to them in any way.

Mastitis is often associated with engorgement. This is a common condition when the breast fills up with milk and turns hard and painful. Babies that can’t keep ahead of the milk production or only feeding on one side can lead to engorgement.

Watch how baby latches on to the breast. Make sure that they have a good seal and are sucking well. It can be hard if the breast is engorged, but feeding empties the breast of milk and you can get some relief.

Risk Factors

Some women are more likely to experience mastitis than others. Here are some of the risks that may be putting you in line for it.

Tight clothing – This mainly refers to bras. Even if you are wearing a nursing bra, open the flaps to let the nipples dry after feeding. If you use breast pads to catch dripping, clean the milk from around the breast often. Breast pads can get stuck to the nipples when the milk dries and irritate them when they are removed.

Cracked nipples – Having a baby latch on to dry nipples is not pleasant. Keep the nipple area free from milk when baby is not feeding. Also keep them massaged and moisturized. It could also be a sign that baby is not latching on properly. Check with your lactation nurse for more information.

Infrequent feeding – Even if baby hasn’t developed their appetite yet, the milk will keep flowing. When baby feeds on only one side, use a breast pump to empty the other. At the next feeding, begin with that breast.

Mastitis is painful but not harmful to your baby. And, there are ways that you can lower your risk of developing it.