The period known as the “babymoon” can be blissful, but it’s short. New motherhood can be surprisingly stressful.

Why are new moms stressed? There can be many factors. Some of the most common:

• Postpartum hormonal ups and downs
• Concerns over mothering skills (Am I doing it right!?)
• Lack of support from family or the baby’s father
• Financial concerns, career worries
• Breastfeeding difficulties
• Couple stress – going from “we” to “us”
• Pain from a healing postpartum body
• Fatigue and exhaustion due to sleep deprivation
• Body image concerns
• New demands of time (When do I take a shower?!)
• Crying or fussy babies

Wow, that’s a lot!

The good news is that there are many ways a new mom can learn to fight back against the stress, or at least manage it. Things tend to naturally get better once baby is no longer a newborn, and a rhythm has been established. Confidence increases, mom begins to get more rest, and can relax and enjoy her baby more.

Here’s what to do in the meantime.

Ways the new breastfeeding mom can manage stress:

Journaling

Journaling truly is free therapy. You can probably manage to write a little while you sit down to nurse the baby. Let your feelings flow out through the pen (or, the keyboard if you prefer). Hash out your feelings, vent about your spouse, talk about the baby or an entirely different subject. The readings are for your eyes only and you may never read them again after you put your thoughts on paper.

Journaling will silently release the pressure in your head. Do it for the joy of it, and don’t worry about form, grammar, spelling or how you sound. Your journal is the perfect girlfriend – always willing to listen, and loves you even when you’re being ugly! A journal doesn’t have to take a long time. You can keep a “one minute journal” – write whatever you want for 1 minute.

Go Outside

New moms often complain about being stuck in their own home. Step outside. Even if it’s winter, you can keep baby warm if s/he is snuggled into a soft cloth carrier next to your body and inside your coat. Getting out into the sunlight (or if the sun’s not out, natural light in case of fall and winter) is healing and necessary for your emotional and physical health.

Briskly walking outside can calm even the fussiest baby. One mom said:

“My first child was the classic fussy “high need” baby who nursed 24 hours a day, it seemed. I could never put him down and had to learn to do everything with him in my arms and nursing! The one time he was totally content (other than at my breast) was when we were outside. He would immediately quiet down when we took him outside, and he would stay quiet and often fall asleep on the walk. I remember lifting the entire stroller up a flight of stairs and inside my apartment to keep him asleep!”

Not only will walking outside do wonders for your stress levels, it can also help you get back into your old clothing, with no stress. Walking is the perfect exercise for the new mom. It’s not hard on the postpartum body, and babies love it!

Music

Listening to any music you love can lower blood pressure, reduce your heart rate and increase your sense of wellbeing. Dancing around your house with the baby is a fun way to connect with your little one, get some exercise and put a smile on your face too!

Don’t Forget Your Hobby

Doing something that you like to do, that you loved before becoming a mom, makes you happy and whole. For some it’s painting or some other artistic pursuit. For others, writing or blogging. For others, exercise or reading. Who says you can’t have a life and a baby? During the newborn period especially, babies are usually content to just be near mom. So strap that baby on to your body and enjoy a couple of hours of “me” time while baby happily naps on you!

A Relaxing Bath

Try taking a relaxing bath at night. It’s no coincidence that many cultures and health disciplines equate water with wellness and healing. Use relaxation scents like lavender and chamomile. These, properly diluted in the bath water, are safe for baby’s skin too. Taking baby in the bath with you may relax you both and help baby sleep better.

As soon as your health care provider gives you the go-ahead postpartum, take a warm bath!

Get a Massage

If you’re worried about finances, don’t spend money. Ask hubby to act as masseur for a day. He can work all the stress knots out of your body that pop up from carrying, nursing baby and leftover aches and pains from pregnancy. Many people carry their stress in their neck and shoulders. A simple ten or fifteen minute massage will do wonders for your stress level. Did you know that massage, even for a few minutes, raises your serotonin levels?

“Quality Time” With Hubby

If you can get your hubby alone and baby is asleep, make the most of it. Orgasm is a wonderful stress reliever. Renewing the intimacy with your spouse will pay off in spades, even if you’re tired and would rather sleep. To be fair, for a new mom, feeling ‘frisky’ may be the farthest thing from your mind. It’s hard to get in the mood when you’re exhausted, sore and feeling fat and unsexy.

However, rest assured that your mate probably has nothing but tender feelings for you after seeing you care for his child so lovingly. The new curves from breastfeeding are often a huge turn on for men! Even if you only have a few minutes before baby wakes up, tell your mate it’s “ladies night” and that you need some extra special TLC. Provided you’ve gotten the thumbs up from your health care provider to resume sex, take things slow, use lots of lubricant, and let him remind you of the loving that brought the baby about in the first place! A sexy nursing bra or lingerie is just the thing here.

Update Your Appearance

So you’re a new mom and can barely figure out how to use the toilet much less do a full hair and makeup routine? Don’t sweat it. Sometimes the little things can make a huge difference. For instance, cut your hair in a style that is easier to maintain. Buy a few gorgeous accessories – it’s understandable that you won’t want to spend a lot of money on clothing while your size is changing due to postpartum weight loss. But splurge on shoes, jewelery or some cute nursing shirts.

Get Support

Finding your tribe when you’re breastfeeding is a huge component to a happy new mom adjustment.  If you’re lucky, your spouse is supportive, or you have family who has your back. But if your family is unsupportive, or you’re a single mom, find your tribe.  Keep the phone number of your local La Leche League leader on speed dial, mom groups like Holistic Moms or MOPS, and find a place where you fit.

What other tips do you have for managing stress as a new breastfeeding mom?

What’s the difference between baby blues and postpartum depression?

Due to sleep deprivation and hormonal changes in the body many new mothers experience baby blues. Baby blues consists of feelings of sadness, accompanied by episodes of crying and sometimes anxiety. Baby blues can last for a couple weeks following the birth of a new baby. It’s important for a new mother who exhibits signs of the baby blues to talk about her feelings with someone. This way she can express her feelings and possibly receive help with the baby as well. These feelings are extremely common, and will typically go away after a couple of weeks.
However, for some women, the feelings of sadness and anxiety can turn into postpartum depression. The onset of postpartum depression can occur anytime during the first year after giving birth. This is usually coupled with feelings of unworthiness, helplessness and sometimes even anger. Postpartum depression lasts longer than the baby blues and the feelings are much more intense.

Mothers who experience such feelings should speak with a doctor, natural health practitioner or lactation specialist  to see what can be done to help with her symptoms. Some may prescribe medicines, some of which are compatible with breastfeeding. However, it’s important to let the doctor know if she is breastfeeding so that they are able to give her a drug that is safe for mother’s milk.

Not all mothers with postpartum depression choose drugs to combat their sadness. Exercise, a healthy diet and receiving support from others can have a positive effect on how the mother feels and interacts with her baby. Talking with a therapist can help her to express her feelings and find healthy ways to cope with the sadness. If at any time a mother feels like she is a danger or harm to herself or the baby, she should seek help immediately. There are plenty of resources and help available for those who suffer from postpartum depression and they should not have to combat their depression alone.

More info and resources on depression and breastfeeding:

The challenges of being a new mom

Breastfeeding helps prevent depression

Interview with breastfeeding and postpartum depression expert Kathleen Kendall-Tackett

By Ari Brown MD and Michele Hakakha MD
Adapted from their new book, Expecting 411

One of the most common questions we get from women is this one: “After I deliver, when can I start exercising again?” We’ve all see the Kate Hudson types in Hollywood go back to being stick thin just weeks after having a baby. Many of our patients expect to do the same.

We recommend, for women who had an uncomplicated pregnancy and delivery, that you wait six weeks before getting into a regular exercise routine. C-section deliveries and personal health history are two factors that can change this time equation, however. Occasionally, practitioners might give the green light a little earlier, so check with your healthcare provider before you start doing any kind of exercise after delivery.

Women can gradually resume exercising when they feel ready. Some women who have had uneventful vaginal deliveries with little perineal trauma feel well enough to take a light, brief walk a week or so after delivery. But if you have a third- or fourth-degree laceration, you may need to hold off exercising for up to eight weeks.

Once your practitioner gives her official blessing, you can resume all prepregnancy activities and exercise regimens. But remember, START SLOW. Begin with walking, yoga, mild hiking, and swimming. You can’t expect to jump back into the 60-minute weight and cardio routine that you were doing prior to getting pregnant. Remember that all of your joints and ligaments can be loose for up to five months after delivery.

And let’s talk about those abdominal muscles. Most women develop some degree of a gap between their abdominal muscles as their pregnancy progressed. That gap (called diastasis recti) takes about two months to close. In some women, it never closes and there’s always a gap. It’s important to let your body heal and close the muscle separation prior to beginning any intense abdominal workouts. Start easy and save the heavy-duty crunches for eight to ten weeks after delivery.

Once you do start exercising again, here are some tips:

Stretch for five to ten minutes before and after exercising.
Wear comfortable clothing.
Keep well hydrated with water or a sports drink.
Wear a comfortable and supportive bra.
Clear your mind of all the other things going on.
This is your time to relax, think, and meditate; give yourself this gift.
Getting back in shape takes time, so don’t rush it.

A final word from Dr. Michele. She had a patient who was determined to get back on her treadmill after a C-section. “I told her that after her six-week postpartum visit, we would decide when she could go back to exercising. But she didn’t heed this advice.” The patient decided that she felt great at two and a half weeks. When she returned to Dr. Michele’s office, her previously closed surgical incision was now gaping open. She had to wait another month to have the wound surgically repaired!

So moms–really do ease back into exercise. You have plenty of time to work off that belly. And don’t worry too much, because when your baby becomes a toddler, he or she will keep you plenty active!

* * * * *
Dr. Michele Hakakha is an award-winning obstetrician/gynecologist practicing in Beverly Hills, CA. Dr. Ari Brown, MD, FAAP, is a pediatrician in Austin, TX, an official spokesperson for the American Academy of Pediatrics, and health advisor for WebMD, Parents Magazine, and ABC News. She penned the best-selling Baby 411 and Toddler 411 book series before coauthoring Expecting 411: Clear Answers & Smart Advice for Your Pregnancy (Windsor Peak Press, 2010, www.expecting411.com).

After a  baby is born by Cesarean section, many moms are concerned that nursing after Cesarean would be much more difficult than if the baby had been born vaginally. Thankfully, with a little help, (from lactation consultants, La Leche League leaders and others), babies and moms can learn to nurse after a difficult birth.

The hardest thing to overcome when nursing after Cesarean is how to hold your baby so as not to put pressure on your very sore abdomen.

This is easily solved by using a thick pillow to support your arms when using the cradle hold. Learning the football hold is also a great way to keep baby off of your staples. To do this, position baby’s body to the side of you, under your arm, with his head coming forward and facing your nipple. If you prop a pillow under your arm in this position as well, it will give you both a more comfortable position.

You also need to make sure you have lots of help after the birth. Rely on your support team – hospital staff, your husband, friends, and family. Accept offers of help at this time, you deserve it!

Talking to other moms who have nursed their babies after Cesarean is very helpful. Here is Sarah’s story of nursing after Cesarean