The period known as the “babymoon” can be blissful, but it’s short. New motherhood can be surprisingly stressful.
Why are new moms stressed? There can be many factors. Some of the most common:
- Postpartum hormonal ups and downs
- Concerns over mothering skills (Am I doing it right!?)
- Lack of support from family or the baby’s father
- Financial concerns, career worries
- Breastfeeding difficulties
- Couple stress – going from “we” to “us”
- Pain from a healing postpartum body
- Fatigue and exhaustion due to sleep deprivation
- Body image concerns
- New demands of time (When do I take a shower?!)
- Crying or fussy babies
Wow, that’s a lot!
The good news is that there are many ways a new mom can learn to fight back against the stress, or at least manage it. Things tend to naturally get better once baby is no longer a newborn, and a rhythm has been established. Confidence increases, mom begins to get more rest, and can relax and enjoy her baby more.
Here’s what to do in the meantime.
Ways the new breastfeeding mom can manage stress:
Journaling
Journaling truly is free therapy. You can probably manage to write a little while you sit down to nurse the baby. Let your feelings flow out through the pen (or, the keyboard if you prefer). Hash out your feelings, vent about your spouse, talk about the baby or an entirely different subject. The readings are for your eyes only and you may never read them again after you put your thoughts on paper.
Journaling will silently release the pressure in your head. Do it for the joy of it, and don’t worry about form, grammar, spelling or how you sound. Your journal is the perfect girlfriend – always willing to listen, and loves you even when you’re being ugly! A journal doesn’t have to take a long time. You can keep a “one minute journal” – write whatever you want for 1 minute.
Go Outside
New moms often complain about being stuck in their own home. Step outside. Even if it’s winter, you can keep baby warm if s/he is snuggled into a soft cloth carrier next to your body and inside your coat. Getting out into the sunlight (or if the sun’s not out, natural light in case of fall and winter) is healing and necessary for your emotional and physical health.

Briskly walking outside can calm even the fussiest baby. One mom said:
“My first child was the classic fussy “high need” baby who nursed 24 hours a day, it seemed. I could never put him down and had to learn to do everything with him in my arms and nursing! The one time he was totally content (other than at my breast) was when we were outside. He would immediately quiet down when we took him outside, and he would stay quiet and often fall asleep on the walk. I remember lifting the entire stroller up a flight of stairs and inside my apartment to keep him asleep!”
Not only will walking outside do wonders for your stress levels, it can also help you get back into your old clothing, with no stress. Walking is the perfect exercise for the new mom. It’s not hard on the postpartum body, and babies love it!
Music
Listening to any music you love can lower blood pressure, reduce your heart rate and increase your sense of wellbeing. Dancing around your house with the baby is a fun way to connect with your little one, get some exercise and put a smile on your face too!
Don’t Forget Your Hobby
Doing something that you like to do, that you loved before becoming a mom, makes you happy and whole. For some it’s painting or some other artistic pursuit. For others, writing or blogging. For others, exercise or reading. Who says you can’t have a life and a baby? During the newborn period especially, babies are usually content to just be near mom. So strap that baby on to your body and enjoy a couple of hours of “me” time while baby happily naps on you!
A Relaxing Bath
Try taking a relaxing bath at night. It’s no coincidence that many cultures and health disciplines equate water with wellness and healing. Use relaxation scents like lavender and chamomile. These, properly diluted in the bath water, are safe for baby’s skin too. Taking baby in the bath with you may relax you both and help baby sleep better.
As soon as your health care provider gives you the go-ahead postpartum, take a warm bath!
Get a Massage
If you’re worried about finances, don’t spend money. Ask hubby to act as masseur for a day. He can work all the stress knots out of your body that pop up from carrying, nursing baby and leftover aches and pains from pregnancy. Many people carry their stress in their neck and shoulders. A simple ten or fifteen minute massage will do wonders for your stress level. Did you know that massage, even for a few minutes, raises your serotonin levels?
“Quality Time” With Hubby
If you can get your hubby alone and baby is asleep, make the most of it. Orgasm is a wonderful stress reliever. Renewing the intimacy with your spouse will pay off in spades, even if you’re tired and would rather sleep. To be fair, for a new mom, feeling ‘frisky’ may be the farthest thing from your mind. It’s hard to get in the mood when you’re exhausted, sore and feeling fat and unsexy.
However, rest assured that your mate probably has nothing but tender feelings for you after seeing you care for his child so lovingly. The new curves from breastfeeding are often a huge turn on for men! Even if you only have a few minutes before baby wakes up, tell your mate it’s “ladies night” and that you need some extra special TLC. Provided you’ve gotten the thumbs up from your health care provider to resume sex, take things slow, use lots of lubricant, and let him remind you of the loving that brought the baby about in the first place! A sexy nursing bra or lingerie is just the thing here.
Update Your Appearance
So you’re a new mom and can barely figure out how to use the toilet much less do a full hair and makeup routine? Don’t sweat it. Sometimes the little things can make a huge difference. For instance, cut your hair in a style that is easier to maintain. Buy a few gorgeous accessories – it’s understandable that you won’t want to spend a lot of money on clothing while your size is changing due to postpartum weight loss. But splurge on shoes, jewelery or some cute nursing shirts.
Get Support
Finding your tribe when you’re breastfeeding is a huge component to a happy new mom adjustment. If you’re lucky, your spouse is supportive, or you have family who has your back. But if your family is unsupportive, or you’re a single mom, find your tribe. Keep the phone number of your local La Leche League leader on speed dial, mom groups like Holistic Moms or MOPS, and find a place where you fit.
What other tips do you have for managing stress as a new breastfeeding mom?