At 3 months old, most women find that their breastfeeding relationship has come to a sweet spot. The issues and challenges they may have had in the first few weeks are resolved, and mom and baby are in a good rhythm. Mom is getting more sleep, and enjoying her baby.

Then, boom.

Something happens at this age that causes mom to start wondering if something is wrong. Suddenly baby seems to want to nurse “all the time“, and she is concerned that her milk supply has become inadequate.

The reason for this is simple: 3 month old breastfed babies often experience a growth spurt at this time. No longer a newborn, a 3 month old needs fairly the same amount of calories as a much older baby due to rapid growth.  Add to this fact that some 3 month olds begin sleeping longer stretches at night, meaning they need to make up those calories during the day.

It’s very common for moms to wean at 3 months because they convince themselves that their milk supply is diminishing. Another thing that sometimes happens at this age is mom’s breasts stop leaking and don’t look as engorged as they did in the immediate postpartum period. While what is really happening is mom’s body is adjusting more efficiently to baby’s needs, she misinterprets these events.

Here are a few questions moms have been asking about breastfeeding 3 month old babies.

“Can you breastfeed a 3 month old too often?”

No, you cannot. This question comes up fairly regularly in the search stats for this site.

“Eating pattern of 3 month old baby?” and “How many times a day should a 3 month old breastfeed?”

It really depends on the individual infant. Babies have different nursing styles. Some “snack” all the time, others nurse for longer periods of time with longer stretches inbetween.

But, since age 3 months is commonly a time for a growth spurt, you can expect baby to want to nurse more. This serves to increase mom’s milk supply. The best thing to do if you suspect this is happening with your baby is to nurse as often as your baby is willing for a few days. It generally takes about 3 days for your body to respond to a change in baby’s nursing habits. So, spend 3 days resting and sleeping with baby as much as possible, nurse often, take care of yourself and don’t do too much. Your body will respond by making more milk, and baby will settle into a more familiar pattern.

See also:

• How do I increase milk supply for my 3 month old?
• How often should a 3 month old eat if breastfeeding?
• How often should a 3 month old breastfeed?

The bestselling nursing bra styles according to stats from the last few months on this site are:

- Bravado! Sublime Soft Cup Nursing Bra

- Bravado! New Lifestyle Microfiber Nursing Bra

- Bella Materna Women’s Padded Nursing Bra

- Elomi nursing bras

What is your favorite nursing bra?

Here are a few tips on choosing a nursing bra:

Decide how you feel about underwire styles versus softcup. Personally, I hate underwire bras while I’m nursing, or anytime. I find that the underwire slides around and pokes me when I hook and unhook my bra. I also didn’t want to risk plugged ducts, which underwire styles can contribute to.

But some moms love underwire, especially if they’re fuller figured and desire “lift”. It’s really a personal decision, but if you do begin having recurring plugged ducts or mastitis, ditch them for softcup styles.

Choose a bra with some stretch. Your breasts will change throughout the day and you need something that will feel comfortable. If you feel uncomfortable without some support at night, choose a bra especially designed for nighttime. It will have less support and be far more comfortable and will have room for nursing pads to catch leaks.

Keep in mind that your bra size will likely change a few times while you’re nursing, so you may want to have only two or three bras in your current size. The bra you wear in the immediate postpartum period may not fit when your baby is a few months old. Your breasts are usually largest in the first month postpartum, but then they begin to reduce in size a little bit, although they likely won’t be the same size they were before your pregnancy until after you wean.

Also, if you are a big leaker, you may need a larger size to accommodate nursing pads. Slightly padded or lined bras are popular so that you can avoid the dreaded “headlights” phenomenon.

Let’s talk about what happens once you’re holding your precious new one in your arms. The first couple of hours after birth your baby is in a perfect state for her first nursing. For an hour or so after birth, she’s in the “active, alert” stage and ready to begin learning more about you and about how to get nourishment from your breast.

Before we go into some of the specific techniques to refer, remember this very important phrase: Early and Often

Early and often is almost like a mantra. It’s something that breastfeeding educators repeat over and over because it is very important to nurse both early and often in order to:

Establish milk supply – you need to give the message to your brain right away to “send milk!”
Help baby learn to breastfeed – these early hours and days are crucial
Assist your uterus to contract (reducing blood loss after birth)

Important Things to Remember:

In the first hours and days postpartum, your milk will consist of colostrum, the early milk that your breasts start producing during pregnancy. This milk is exceedingly important for new babies as it contains antibodies that help your baby build a healthy immunity. Colostrum “paints” the intestinal tract with healthy bacteria which will help prevent allergies and other health problems later. It’s very important that your baby not receive any other milk or liquid other than your milk during the early hours and days postpartum. Extra water, sugar water, or formula are not needed for a healthy full term baby.

If your baby is born prematurely, your medical team will likely be thrilled that you are nursing, as he especially needs the health benefits of your milk! They will work with you to make sure your baby gets your milk in whatever fashion he can handle. Some premies take a little time before they can nurse at the breast, but you can pump your milk with a hospital grade electric breastpump and feed him this liquid gold.

Your Doctor may tell you that your baby needs formula or sugar water if he is large or hypoglycemic (low blood sugar). This is false. Your baby needs to nurse as much as possible so that he gets your milk, and to stimulate a hearty supply.

Keep in mind that before your milk supply increases (about the 3rd to 5th day postpartum), you are producing teaspoons, not ounces. That is perfectly okay. The more often you put baby to breast, the quicker your milk will transition from colostrum to mature milk. This doesn’t diminish the importance of colostrum however. Colostrum is referred to as “liquid gold” for a reason.

If you are going back to work after having your baby, you may have questions about breastfeeding and pumping.  The first thing you need to know is that you can still breastfeed when you are away from your baby. Don’t give up! Find supportive people to help you meet your breastfeeding goals.

Here are 10 quick tips on pumping while away from your baby:

1. Begin pumping a few weeks before you return to work to get accustomed to pumping, and to build your supply and your breastmilk stash.
2. Bring a picture of your baby to work with you and look at it to help with letdown.  Another way to help with letdown is bringing your baby’s blanket or clothing that smells like him or her.
3. Pump every three to four hours for at least 15 minutes.
4. Bring a cooler with you to place expressed milk.
5. To increase supply, pump or nurse more often.
6. Pump in the early morning since this is when you are most likely to have the highest output.
7. Some mothers say that eating oatmeal or taking  herbs (such as in breastfeeding tea) will increase supply.
8. Go hands-free by using a specially made nursing bra or buying a hands-free pump.
9. Try pumping the “other side” when baby is nursing when you are at home.
10. Sleep with your baby. Baby will get more calories when nursing at night and your supply will increase. Also, you will likely get more sleep than if you get up to nurse baby in the night.
11. And a bonus tip! You get what you pay for when it comes to pumps. The higher quality pumps are easier on your breast tissue and also more effective. For full time pumping if you are going to be away from baby several hours a day, invest in an electric double pump. This is still far less expensive than formula feeding, not to mention your baby will be healthier meaning fewer trips to the Doctor!

Elomi nursing bras are high quality, constructed well, and offer great support for bustier nursing moms.

This style, the Elomi Molded Nursing Underwire Bra, features a seamless style perfect for wearing under your favorite fitted tees, it offers stretch and close set straps so they’re less likely to fall off your shoulders.

It’s available in nude and black.

While some moms prefer not to use underwire while they’re nursing because it may trigger plugged ducts, many women love them, especially for larger sizes. They get high reviews from nursing moms who like good support and coverage without padding.

For moms that just can’t do underwire, another option is the Elomi Beatrice Wire-free Nursing Bra. It offers beautiful support with no underwire. Available in nude.

The period known as the “babymoon” can be blissful, but it’s short. New motherhood can be surprisingly stressful.

Why are new moms stressed? There can be many factors. Some of the most common:

• Postpartum hormonal ups and downs
• Concerns over mothering skills (Am I doing it right!?)
• Lack of support from family or the baby’s father
• Financial concerns, career worries
• Breastfeeding difficulties
• Couple stress – going from “we” to “us”
• Pain from a healing postpartum body
• Fatigue and exhaustion due to sleep deprivation
• Body image concerns
• New demands of time (When do I take a shower?!)
• Crying or fussy babies

Wow, that’s a lot!

The good news is that there are many ways a new mom can learn to fight back against the stress, or at least manage it. Things tend to naturally get better once baby is no longer a newborn, and a rhythm has been established. Confidence increases, mom begins to get more rest, and can relax and enjoy her baby more.

Here’s what to do in the meantime.

Ways the new breastfeeding mom can manage stress:

Journaling

Journaling truly is free therapy. You can probably manage to write a little while you sit down to nurse the baby. Let your feelings flow out through the pen (or, the keyboard if you prefer). Hash out your feelings, vent about your spouse, talk about the baby or an entirely different subject. The readings are for your eyes only and you may never read them again after you put your thoughts on paper.

Journaling will silently release the pressure in your head. Do it for the joy of it, and don’t worry about form, grammar, spelling or how you sound. Your journal is the perfect girlfriend – always willing to listen, and loves you even when you’re being ugly! A journal doesn’t have to take a long time. You can keep a “one minute journal” – write whatever you want for 1 minute.

Go Outside

New moms often complain about being stuck in their own home. Step outside. Even if it’s winter, you can keep baby warm if s/he is snuggled into a soft cloth carrier next to your body and inside your coat. Getting out into the sunlight (or if the sun’s not out, natural light in case of fall and winter) is healing and necessary for your emotional and physical health.

Briskly walking outside can calm even the fussiest baby. One mom said:

“My first child was the classic fussy “high need” baby who nursed 24 hours a day, it seemed. I could never put him down and had to learn to do everything with him in my arms and nursing! The one time he was totally content (other than at my breast) was when we were outside. He would immediately quiet down when we took him outside, and he would stay quiet and often fall asleep on the walk. I remember lifting the entire stroller up a flight of stairs and inside my apartment to keep him asleep!”

Not only will walking outside do wonders for your stress levels, it can also help you get back into your old clothing, with no stress. Walking is the perfect exercise for the new mom. It’s not hard on the postpartum body, and babies love it!

Music

Listening to any music you love can lower blood pressure, reduce your heart rate and increase your sense of wellbeing. Dancing around your house with the baby is a fun way to connect with your little one, get some exercise and put a smile on your face too!

Don’t Forget Your Hobby

Doing something that you like to do, that you loved before becoming a mom, makes you happy and whole. For some it’s painting or some other artistic pursuit. For others, writing or blogging. For others, exercise or reading. Who says you can’t have a life and a baby? During the newborn period especially, babies are usually content to just be near mom. So strap that baby on to your body and enjoy a couple of hours of “me” time while baby happily naps on you!

A Relaxing Bath

Try taking a relaxing bath at night. It’s no coincidence that many cultures and health disciplines equate water with wellness and healing. Use relaxation scents like lavender and chamomile. These, properly diluted in the bath water, are safe for baby’s skin too. Taking baby in the bath with you may relax you both and help baby sleep better.

As soon as your health care provider gives you the go-ahead postpartum, take a warm bath!

Get a Massage

If you’re worried about finances, don’t spend money. Ask hubby to act as masseur for a day. He can work all the stress knots out of your body that pop up from carrying, nursing baby and leftover aches and pains from pregnancy. Many people carry their stress in their neck and shoulders. A simple ten or fifteen minute massage will do wonders for your stress level. Did you know that massage, even for a few minutes, raises your serotonin levels?

“Quality Time” With Hubby

If you can get your hubby alone and baby is asleep, make the most of it. Orgasm is a wonderful stress reliever. Renewing the intimacy with your spouse will pay off in spades, even if you’re tired and would rather sleep. To be fair, for a new mom, feeling ‘frisky’ may be the farthest thing from your mind. It’s hard to get in the mood when you’re exhausted, sore and feeling fat and unsexy.

However, rest assured that your mate probably has nothing but tender feelings for you after seeing you care for his child so lovingly. The new curves from breastfeeding are often a huge turn on for men! Even if you only have a few minutes before baby wakes up, tell your mate it’s “ladies night” and that you need some extra special TLC. Provided you’ve gotten the thumbs up from your health care provider to resume sex, take things slow, use lots of lubricant, and let him remind you of the loving that brought the baby about in the first place! A sexy nursing bra or lingerie is just the thing here.

Update Your Appearance

So you’re a new mom and can barely figure out how to use the toilet much less do a full hair and makeup routine? Don’t sweat it. Sometimes the little things can make a huge difference. For instance, cut your hair in a style that is easier to maintain. Buy a few gorgeous accessories – it’s understandable that you won’t want to spend a lot of money on clothing while your size is changing due to postpartum weight loss. But splurge on shoes, jewelery or some cute nursing shirts.

Get Support

Finding your tribe when you’re breastfeeding is a huge component to a happy new mom adjustment.  If you’re lucky, your spouse is supportive, or you have family who has your back. But if your family is unsupportive, or you’re a single mom, find your tribe.  Keep the phone number of your local La Leche League leader on speed dial, mom groups like Holistic Moms or MOPS, and find a place where you fit.

What other tips do you have for managing stress as a new breastfeeding mom?

Spending time with family is a big part of the holiday season. This can be good, or it can be stressful depending on a number of circumstances. One issue is when your family is unsupportive of your parenting choices.

If your relatives don’t support breastfeeding, or breastfeeding in public, or breastfeeding past a certain age, you may encounter criticism or unsolicited advice. Nothing makes the relatives choke on their turkey dinner like feeding the baby anywhere and anytime, it seems!

Breastfeeding and Unsupportive Family

Your breastfeeding can bring up issues in your family. Any mother who knew consciously that breastfeeding is right and good for her child, and that formula is very much sub par, and yet didn’t want to breastfeed, may have defensiveness around the topic. Meaning she can’t think rationally, only emotionally. Hence she may have a problem with you breastfeeding around her. This may be your sister, Aunt, Grandmother, Mother-in-Law, or any other female relative.

And those mothers who knew breastfeeding is best but who lacked good information and support and therefore failed in her attempts to do so, will also have sadness and grief. This is the same kind of feeling you may get around a friend who struggles with infertility, and you’re pregnant. Again.

It grieves me to see the lengths women sometimes go to to avoid breastfeeding in public. Where else should a woman feel safe to nurture her baby than around her family?

When it comes to family being unsupportive of breastfeeding, my advice is to work within your own comfort level. If feeding the baby in the same room as your family will cause you to have toxic emotions and total discomfort, then take it elsewhere. It’s not a political statement to duck into a spare bedroom to nurse your baby in peace. Many people will assume you are putting the baby down for a nap or changing a diaper and won’t bring up breastfeeding. If your mind and emotions will be so disturbed by the possibility of questions and criticism, that isn’t good for your health or baby’s.

With younger babies, you may be able to be discreet and nurse wherever you are, just turning away from the group for a moment to latch on, then settling your clothes around baby’s face. Older babies, of course, are often difficult to breastfeed discreetly. In this case I recommend using a baby sling. Many times I have breastfed a baby in a sling and nobody was the wiser.

A nursing cover may make you more comfortable, but in my opinion these often look like a neon sign that flashes “we’re nursing under here!”. If you’re expecting criticism due to nursing your toddler, read more tips on closet extended nursing here.

It’s also a good idea to practice a few phrases you can use when family is unsupportive or critical of your breastfeeding. Such as:

“Mother in law, I appreciate how concerned you are about baby Johnny. Our Doctor has assured us that little Johnny will get plenty to eat if he is breastfed on cue, without any supplements, and that it’s best to delay solids until 6 months. We’re trusting his advice. We appreciate your input. ”

This “Doctor” could be one whose advice you’ve read in a book. It doesn’t matter. What matters is that the other person feels heard, but that you don’t acquiesce to their wishes but reaffirm your position as the final authority on your child.

Recommended article on the Leaky Boob: Unsupportive Support

See also: Breastfeeding and family support

Breastfeeding around the holidays

How did you handle family who is unsupportive of your breastfeeding?

Traditional Medicinals is generously offering a free coupon on their Mother’s Milk tea.

The coupon is for $1.50 off. At Publix grocery stores in the southeast beginning Wednesday or Thursday, the boxes of tea are on sale for $3.29 each, making this a particularly great deal if you have a Publix nearby!

Mother’s Milk tea contains herbs that are commonly used as galactagogues. Meaning, they have traditionally been used to increase milk supply.

Go here to download the coupon:

Traditional Medicinals Mother’s Milk Tea coupon.

You might also want to read:

• Breastfeeding herbs
• Breastfeeding tea
• Traditional Medicinals Organic Mother’s Milk Tea

GIVEAWAY! Details below.

Undercover Mama is a unique strapless undershirt that attaches to your nursing bra. This makes it easy for you to breastfeed without showing your stomach or side.

As you can see in the first pic below, it attaches to any nursing bra (there is a “hook” style and a “loop” style attachment available, the hook is shown below).

When it’s time to feed the baby, it opens with the flap of your nursing bra. The rest of the shirt stays down against your belly and sides. So, you can wear any shirt you want and still be able to nurse comfortably.

Here is a full pic of the Undercover Mama:

To enter to win the UnderCover Mama, go HERE.

The contest will run for one week, until Thursday, August 18 at Noon Eastern time. The winner will be notified at that time.

Here are some of my favorite tips for nursing in public.

- Nurse at the first signs of hunger. A nursing baby generally draws less attention than a screaming one! So latch your baby on as soon as you notice that s/he is hungry…rooting, sucking on fist, grimacing face, etc. A crying baby also makes you nervous and you and baby may take longer to get latched on comfortably.

- Bring a book or large purse to set in your lap for camouflage. Your diaper bag would also work. Set it in front of baby on your knees while you latch baby on. Or hold a book so that your baby’s head and your breast are out of view.

- Practice latching your baby on quickly and discreetly in front of a mirror at home, so that you know how to do it without anyone really noticing when you’re out and about.

Again, to enter to win the Undercover Mama, go HERE.