At 3 months old, most women find that their breastfeeding relationship has come to a sweet spot. The issues and challenges they may have had in the first few weeks are resolved, and mom and baby are in a good rhythm. Mom is getting more sleep, and enjoying her baby.

Then, boom.

Something happens at this age that causes mom to start wondering if something is wrong. Suddenly baby seems to want to nurse “all the time“, and she is concerned that her milk supply has become inadequate.

The reason for this is simple: 3 month old breastfed babies often experience a growth spurt at this time. No longer a newborn, a 3 month old needs fairly the same amount of calories as a much older baby due to rapid growth.  Add to this fact that some 3 month olds begin sleeping longer stretches at night, meaning they need to make up those calories during the day.

It’s very common for moms to wean at 3 months because they convince themselves that their milk supply is diminishing. Another thing that sometimes happens at this age is mom’s breasts stop leaking and don’t look as engorged as they did in the immediate postpartum period. While what is really happening is mom’s body is adjusting more efficiently to baby’s needs, she misinterprets these events.

Here are a few questions moms have been asking about breastfeeding 3 month old babies.

“Can you breastfeed a 3 month old too often?”

No, you cannot. This question comes up fairly regularly in the search stats for this site.

“Eating pattern of 3 month old baby?” and “How many times a day should a 3 month old breastfeed?”

It really depends on the individual infant. Babies have different nursing styles. Some “snack” all the time, others nurse for longer periods of time with longer stretches inbetween.

But, since age 3 months is commonly a time for a growth spurt, you can expect baby to want to nurse more. This serves to increase mom’s milk supply. The best thing to do if you suspect this is happening with your baby is to nurse as often as your baby is willing for a few days. It generally takes about 3 days for your body to respond to a change in baby’s nursing habits. So, spend 3 days resting and sleeping with baby as much as possible, nurse often, take care of yourself and don’t do too much. Your body will respond by making more milk, and baby will settle into a more familiar pattern.

See also:

• How do I increase milk supply for my 3 month old?
• How often should a 3 month old eat if breastfeeding?
• How often should a 3 month old breastfeed?

If your relatives don’t support breastfeeding, or breastfeeding in public, or breastfeeding past a certain age, you may encounter criticism or unsolicited advice. Nothing makes the relatives choke on their turkey dinner like feeding the baby anywhere and anytime, it seems!

Breastfeeding and Unsupportive Family

Your breastfeeding can bring up issues in your family. Any mother who knew consciously that breastfeeding is right and good for her child, and that formula is very much sub par, and yet didn’t want to breastfeed, may have defensiveness around the topic. Meaning she can’t think rationally, only emotionally. Hence she may have a problem with you breastfeeding around her. This may be your sister, Aunt, Grandmother, Mother-in-Law, or any other female relative.

And those mothers who knew breastfeeding is best but who lacked good information and support and therefore failed in her attempts to do so, will also have sadness and grief. This is the same kind of feeling you may get around a friend who struggles with infertility, and you’re pregnant. Again.

It grieves me to see the lengths women sometimes go to to avoid breastfeeding in public. Where else should a woman feel safe to nurture her baby than around her family?

When it comes to family being unsupportive of breastfeeding, my advice is to work within your own comfort level. If feeding the baby in the same room as your family will cause you to have toxic emotions and total discomfort, then take it elsewhere. It’s not a political statement to duck into a spare bedroom to nurse your baby in peace. Many people will assume you are putting the baby down for a nap or changing a diaper and won’t bring up breastfeeding. If your mind and emotions will be so disturbed by the possibility of questions and criticism, that isn’t good for your health or baby’s.

With younger babies, you may be able to be discreet and nurse wherever you are, just turning away from the group for a moment to latch on, then settling your clothes around baby’s face. Older babies, of course, are often difficult to breastfeed discreetly. In this case I recommend using a baby sling. Many times I have breastfed a baby in a sling and nobody was the wiser.

A nursing cover may make you more comfortable, but in my opinion these often look like a neon sign that flashes “we’re nursing under here!”. If you’re expecting criticism due to nursing your toddler, read more tips on closet extended nursing here.

It’s also a good idea to practice a few phrases you can use when family is unsupportive or critical of your breastfeeding. Such as:

“Mother in law, I appreciate how concerned you are about baby Johnny. Our Doctor has assured us that little Johnny will get plenty to eat if he is breastfed on cue, without any supplements, and that it’s best to delay solids until 6 months. We’re trusting his advice. We appreciate your input. ”

This “Doctor” could be one whose advice you’ve read in a book. It doesn’t matter. What matters is that the other person feels heard, but that you don’t acquiesce to their wishes but reaffirm your position as the final authority on your child.

Recommended article on the Leaky Boob: Unsupportive Support

See also: Breastfeeding and family support

Breastfeeding around the holidays

How did you handle family who is unsupportive of your breastfeeding?

But, if going to the gym sounds as exciting as going to the dentist, this news may come with mixed feelings. Now you don’t have an excuse for not exercising!

Whatever your feelings are, there are some guidelines to follow when you do start exercising:

Breastfeeding and Exercise: Tips

- You may find it more comfortable to nurse before you hit the gym. Engorgement is painful, especially if you’re running or taking a step class.

- Make sure you have a supportive, properly fitted running bra. This will help prevent issues with mastitis or plugged ducts.

Such as:
La Leche League High Impact Softcup Nursing sports bra

La Leche League Low Impact Softcup Nursing sports bra

- Drink plenty of water and don’t overdo it.

- If your baby gives you the cold shoulder when you return from the gym, he may just be reacting to your sweat. (Can you blame him?) Rinse off and he should nurse just fine.

* Always consult with your health care provider before starting an exercise routine.

Book Recommendation:

Eat Well, Lose Weight, While Breastfeeding: The Complete Nutrition Book for Nursing Mothers

Road Trip With a Breastfed Baby:

If your baby or toddler is already eating solids, this can be an option for feeding him on the road. However, if he only drinks milk, you might want to pump milk ahead of time into bottles to feed him along the way. If you are the passenger, you can even pump into a bottle and feed him during the drive, if need be. Some babies do not take bottles at all and only drink from the breast. In this case, you’ll want to schedule in regular meals and snacks for your child by visiting rest stops to nurse him. Do not remove the baby from his car seat as you travel on the road, as this is both illegal and potentially dangerous.

Breastfeeding On An Airplane:

While it may be frowned upon by some people, it is perfectly legal to breastfeed your baby in public, and this includes during a flight. As a breastfeeding mother, you even have an advantage over those who use bottles, due to the strict liquid regulations. While bottles of formula and milk are now allowed onto planes, the milk in your breasts are not subject to search and are quite portable, making traveling easier for you. One tip you’ll want to try is breastfeeding your baby during takeoff and landing. This can reduce his fears of flying and reduces the chance of his ears popping, which can feel painful for a baby. While many people aren’t thrilled about having a baby near them in flight, breastfed babies typically make wonderful flying companions!

Taking along a baby sling can be a huge help when traveling with a baby, especially when going through busy airports. You can even nurse discreetly in the sling and noone will be the wiser. The sling also helps to comfort baby and reduce fussiness, as well as helping him nap when he’s tired.

Bottle Feeding

Breastfeeding while traveling and doing activities is certainly different than feeding at home. For many breastfeeding mothers, bottle feeding is a new concept. If you do plan on bottle-feeding your pumped milk on outings, be sure you have a cooler that can keep milk fresh as you are traveling and be sure to abide by the guidelines of how long milk should be kept. If you are planning on being away from the baby for a period of time, such as a day at the spa, then be sure to pump ahead of time for baby as well. This can also be an adjustment for baby as well and should be introduced to him days before your departure.

Taking care of yourself

Although vacation is designed to be fun, it can also be physically and mentally exhausting. There is a lot of moving around from place to place that occurs, as well as eating at new places and experiencing new things. It is also possible you will be nursing on a different schedule, which can be uncomfortable for you. To counteract this, be sure you are getting plenty of rest, fluids and nutrition. If you are breastfeeding at odd hours or less than usual, you might need to carry along a small pump with you (or pump by hand) to release some milk and give you some comfort. Take along breastfeeding items you may need, such as breast pads, lanolin or hot packs if your breast get sore. Vitamin B6 can also assist in tenderness. Vacations are a common time for moms to experience plugged ducts or mastitis. Baby is distracted and you may be nursing less. Be sure to take care of yourself so your vacation is relaxing.

Some mothers choose to wean their babies at a predetermined time (perhaps at one year of age), or when life circumstances seem to warrant it (such as a new pregnancy).

But most of the time, weaning can be a gradual, natural process where a baby or young child grows away from the need to breastfeed. It is more comfortable this way for mom and baby. Technically, weaning begins when the first solid food is offered.

In this series of posts, we’re going to talk about why weaning your baby gradually is the best advice, for both baby and mom.

Why Sudden Weaning is a Bad Idea—for Mom

Is sudden weaning really the solution to your problems? Moms who’ve “had it” with breastfeeding often think the best way to wean is by stopping “cold turkey.”

But, unless it’s absolutely medically necessary, this may not be a great idea—at all. Aside from the emotional toll it can take on a child, sudden weaning is, literally, a pain for mom.

Breasts make milk on a supply-and-demand basis. Your breasts won’t have time to adjust if your baby is nursing six times one day and the next day you decide to cut nursing out completely.

Sudden weaning can painfully engorge your breasts, leading to plugged ducts that may result in a breast abscess or infection.

You could even get mastitis.

Sudden weaning also will cause a sudden drop in hormones, making you feel moody or depressed.

Re-consider the desire to suddenly wean your baby. The best way to wean is gradually, with love. Gradual weaning helps your milk flow adjust accordingly and your body adjust to new hormone levels.

Later we’ll talk about why gradual weaning is better for your baby.

This doesn’t have to mean weaning, however.
photo credit: EraPhernalia Vintage (somewhat busy)

If you are a nursing mom, there are some extra steps you can take to ensure you and your baby cope well with this change in schedule.

This means stocking up on milk to nourish your baby while you’re away, keeping up your milk supply and remembering a few comfort techniques for yourself.

Here are a few tips for nursing moms who have to be away from their baby.

1) Store Milk for Baby

Depending on how long you’ll be gone, you’ll want to begin pumping extra milk daily to be stored and used to feed your baby while you’re on your trip. This might take a couple of weeks, depending on how much your baby eats, how often you pump and what your milk supply looks like.

Many moms find that it’s easiest to pump extra milk in the morning when their supply is higher, or after a nap. (Typically a woman has more milk after a period of sleep.)

Store your milk in freezer-safe containers that the babysitter or another family member can pull out and warm for baby when he or she is hungry.

If your baby is not used to bottle feeding, it might be a good idea to briefly introduce the bottle to him or her before leaving. It usually works best if someone else offers the bottle, not you, as baby will often reject a bottle when your breasts are nearby.

You can also leave behind an article of clothing of yours, such as a shirt or nightgown, to remind baby of your smell while feeding.

2) Keep Up Your Milk Supply

While away, it is important to keep up your milk supply if you plan on nursing your baby when you get back. To do this, you’ll need to find a pump that works well for you. It may be a hand pump, electric pump or by hand expressing your milk. You’ll want to pump as often as your baby usually nurses, if possible. The pumping will cause your body to believe it is still nursing and continue to produce milk on a regular basis.

Many women find it helpful to take along a picture of their baby to look at while pumping or a blanket that has their smell. It is a good idea to use the same blanket during a couple of feedings before leaving and take this with you. You might want to wear nursing pads throughout the day to catch any leaking that may occur.

3) Comfort Techniques

Not being able to nurse as frequently can cause painful engorgement for some women. The breasts feel sore, tender and hard in some areas.

Pumping the milk out can help out tremendously, but you may still want to employ some comfort techniques for your own benefit.

Take a warm compress, such as a hand towel moist with warm water and place on your breasts. After a few minutes of direct heat, take some natural oil, such as sweet almond oil and gently massage the lumps in your breasts. This will help the milk flow easier and is a good time to pump some milk out.

After massaging the breasts, a cold pack might help reduce discomfort and pain. A hot or cold shower can replace the hot or cold packs if you wish.

Cracked or Dry Nipples and/or Areola:
Cracked nipples can occur a number of ways. The most common is if the baby is not latched on correctly. Make sure your baby’s mouth is taking in the entire areola. If not, you will soon experience cracking of your nipples. Another way cracked or dry nipples can occur is by naturally just being used more than normal. Your body is still getting used to breastfeeding several times a day and the result can dry out the skin.

The most common way to help correct this is after each feeding, squeezing a small amount of milk onto your areolas and nipples. Allow to dry naturally, soaking in the breastmilk. If you continue to have cry and cracked nipples, especially ones that really hurt, proceed to using lanolin.

If you are vegan, lanolin is not the product for you since it is extracted from wool. However, it is an all natural product. If you purchase the Lansinoh brand of lanolin, you’ll find it is the purest form out there, without any additives. Take the lanolin and generously apply to your nipples and areola. You might want to cover your breasts with a light breast pad to keep your clothing from getting sticky. The good part is that lanolin is safe for baby (and for you), just be sure you’re not super gooey before feedings. But a thin layer is appropriate to remain on.

Your body will soak in the lanolin and within a day’s time you should start to see a major difference.

Hard or Tender Breasts:
If you go too long without feeding, your breasts can become very hard. They are filled with milk and can feel like rocks living inside. It can be quite painful to some, especially to the touch. What you’ll want to do is carve out a little “me” time to take care of the soreness. If you have warm heating pads, such as a dyi rice sock or gel pack, warm up and then place on each breast, paying special attention to the sorest parts of your breasts. You can even use a warm compress such as a washcloth soaked in warm water. Other ways are to take a warm bath or lightly massage the hard areas with olive oil. Depending on the severity of the problem, the above method can start to take effect within hours or even days.

Itchiness:
If you sense this is normal itchiness due to irritation, there are some natural steps you can take on your own. If you’re worried it could be thrust or a bacterial infection, you should talk with your doctor on what she or he believes you should do to help cure it.

However, many moms often experience itchiness of the nipples early on. The skin can become irritated from constant use or from exposure to certain fabrics. First of all, you’ll want to start using a bra that is made from organic cotton. You can even look for a specially-made nursing bra that removes the cups for easy feedings. This should make a major impact on the itchiness.

During shower time you’ll want to avoid using any sort of soap on the breasts. Just use warm water and be careful to be tender when washing. This will help remove any bacteria and cleanse the area naturally, without irritants.

Breastfeeding as a birth control method

If you don’t want to become pregnant soon after giving birth, you can rely on breastfeeding delay your fertility for at least six months if the following requirements are met:

• Baby is breastfeeding on demand
• No supplemental bottles of formula, juice or water
• No pacifiers
• No solid foods

(To that list some would add that mom is napping once a day with baby.)

Researchers have calculated that breastfeeding prevents more pregnancies worldwide than all other birth control methods, combined!

Some mothers will find that their periods to do not return for the entire time they are nursing. Others will have periods several months after their baby’s birth but these will be anovulatory – a period without ovulation. So, mom is still not able to conceive.

If you don’t want to rely on breastfeeding’s natural birth control effect, then you need to know:

What birth control methods are safe while nursing?

Generally speaking, the barrier methods of contraception (condoms, female condoms, cervical cap, diaphragm, sponge etc) and natural family planning are the safest birth control methods when you’re breastfeeding.

The low dose hormonal birth control pills (the “mini” pill), Depo Provera and devices (such as the IUD and “ring”) are also safe. Doctors typically do not like to prescribe the high dose birth control pill to a nursing mother because of possible safety issues to the baby.

Be prepared for a potential drop in milk supply after using hormonal birth control. Doctors are often ignorant of this effect. Since hormonal birth control tricks your body into believing it’s pregnant (so you won’t ovulate), and pregnant women find that their milk supply drops, it makes sense.

It may be best to use a barrier method of birth control until your baby is eating solid foods and therefore is a little less dependent on your milk for their nutritional needs.

You can talk to a La Leche League leader (or search their website) or lactation consultant for more information about the specific issues involved with birth control while breastfeeding.

More:

Breastfeeding and fertility