After the recent coverage on 20/20 on the topic of “Extreme Mothering”, I’ve seen several posts around the blogosphere about extended nursing.

Including this one by Amy at Crunchy Domestic Goddess who says extended nursing is more common than you may think. One of the reasons this is so is because many nursing moms engage in “closet nursing”, especially once their kids cross over into an age that our peers think is too old. Generally this happens after the one year mark, but can happen even earlier.

When I was a kid, I was close to a woman who nursed her older children. I babysat for her and since she was older than me and such a “cool mom”, I really admired her. I also dated a young man who was famous among his friends for having nursed until 5 – the oldest person I had ever known. Then I observed my sister nurse her toddlers, so it seemed like no big deal to me to let a child wean on their own.

When I had my own kids, I didn’t “set out” to nurse for an extended period of time, it just happened that way. It seemed like an ideal way to meet the child’s need for comfort, soothing, whatever.

And I was always VERY grateful when an older toddler fell ill and was still nursing.

One reason is because toddlers often refuse food when they’re sick. If they’re still nursing, even if they vomit or have diarrhea, there is typically litttle worry about dehydration, and the milk they keep down is highly nutritious. Often an older child will revert to exclusive nursing when they’re ill. It was comforting to me and the child to be able to meet their needs in this way.

Hopefully, at some time in the future it will become more acceptable in our society to practice extended nursing – and more moms will come out of the closet. Until then, we are powerful when we simply live our lives doing what we feel is best.

Science certainly is on our side, as Amy’s post points out above. People who study such things (anthropologists and the like) say that our teeth show that humans are probably meant to nurse for several years, not months. And indeed this is common practice in much of the world, even today. Worldwide the median age for weaning is 4.2. When women aren’t told “what to do” by outside authorities, they seem to have no problem nursing for years.

No closet needed.