Armed with the right information, a father can be the biggest support in a new mother’s world, especially when it comes to breastfeeding.

photo credit: edenpictures

Some new fathers may not understand the importance of breastfeeding or are embarrassed to know more about it, but other men are very knowledgeable about breastfeeding and encourage their partners to nurse their babies.

A father may also feel unsure about how breastfeeding will affect his relationship with his partner. However, having the father’s support plays a major role in the success of breastfeeding for the mother and child. A pregnant woman is wise to involve her partner in the decision to breastfeed early on. This can help him become more accustomed to the idea and learn how to be a great support to his partner. Taking a breastfeeding class together during pregnancy is a great idea.

During pregnancy, the mother and father should sit down and discuss what it means to breastfeed and discuss issues that may be weighing one their minds. This might include sexual intimacy, bonding with the baby and how to be supportive during the breastfeeding journey. It is helpful to have a third party there that is knowledgeable about breastfeeding to answer any questions, such as a midwife or breastfeeding counselor. Personal issues can be discussed privately at a separate time, if need be.

It’s important for the father to know he can still bond with both the baby and the mother in beautiful, loving ways. Even though he isn’t the primary person involved with feeding the young infant, he can bond in many other ways.  Infant massage, skin-to-skin contact, bathtime, and reading to baby are excellent ways for dad to bond with the baby.

Parents who want to keep their relationship as a priority can still be intimate, however it’s a good idea to wait until mom is healed from childbirth and is able to get sufficient rest. This time varies from woman to woman. Good communication is the key. If a new mom is feeling exhausted, hormonal and “touched” out from caring for baby all day, she may need more time to get into the mood. It’s a good idea for her to explain to her husband that she isn’t rejecting HIM. Moms should remember that their husbands are also going through a vulnerable time emotionally after the birth of a new baby.

Some moms express their milk and hire a babysitter for a couple hours for the parents to get some alone time, but others find that they are uncomfortable doing so. A couple can find creative ways to still be loving and intimate with one another without leaving baby behind. One couple lit several candles on their dresser, placed baby in the carrier on the floor and let him coo and talk to the flickering lights while they enjoyed a romantic interlude!

The best thing dad can do is tell the mom how much he appreciates the gift she is giving their child through the act of  breastfeeding and not push her to feed the baby formula or bottles. He can take her water when she sits down to nurse, make her a cup of nursing tea or adjust her nursing pillow. These little touches can go a long way towards endearing a man to a woman. Just having the father by her side can make her feel loved and appreciated and most of all, supported.

Another way a father can support a breastfeeding mother is by running interference with her if others try to assert their opinions or undermine the nursing relationship. A nosy mother in law may have to be reminded that “We appreciate your experience and opinion, however, this is our baby and we have made a decision.” Keep in mind that some people have a problem with a breastfeeding mother simply because they were unable to nurse their own babies. Being compassionate is always a good idea, but a couple have to defend their boundaries from time to time also.

•    Breastfeeding is Cost Effective

Daddy will be happy to see how much money he will save (at least $1000/year) when mommy breastfeeding rather than using formula.  The high cost of formula, bottles, and doctor’s visit due to increased illness of formula fed babies are what makes up this great savings.

•    More Sleep

Since mommy is nursing, daddy can sleep the night away. Of course, some dads to get up to offer baby a bottle of expressed milk, especially if mom is also working outside the home.

•    Proud Daddy

Fathers take pride in their children’s intelligence and health.  Breastfed babies score at least 8 points higher on IQ tests and are generally healthier, even on into adulthood.

•    Have Fun with Baby

Just because fathers can’t breastfeed doesn’t mean they can’t have fun with their baby! Dads can rock the baby, wear him in a sling, take baby for a walk, read to, and play with him or her. Dads aren’t babysitters, they’re parents. Babies love Dad’s voice, his hairy chest and the different way he interacts with them. Dads are also essential during the postpartum period when mom is tired. He can keep baby happy inbetween nursings while mom rests.

•    Support Mom

Since dads don’t have the equipment to nurse, they are able to do the things that mom is unable to do such as clean, cook and care for baby and mom during the first few weeks after baby is born.  This is a great help to mom and appreciated. Dads often become a mother’s biggest support and breastfeeding advocate when he experiences personally the many benefits breastfeeding has to offer.

As a side note, breastfed baby poops don’t stink so diaper changing is a little more pleasant – at least until the solid foods start!